Weekly Farm Update

Things are going well on the farm. Everything has mostly been cleaned up after last week's storm and is back to normal. We have a bit of repair work to do on the barn door. My broken planters must be removed from the yard, and we have more sticks to pick up. However, overall things are blissfully quiet.

I have more chicken news. My "crazy-a$$" white chickens, my year-old California Whites, have successfully hatched seven little chicks. Of course, it is the crazy chickens who successfully hatch what will probably be crazy babies. I should have known anything bred in California would be crazy. I jest. I know some very lovely people from California, and they aren't crazy at all. However, these chickens are BANANAS! After being raised by me, having me feed them, water them, clean their coop, give them snacks, and going into the coop multiple times a day, they act flighty, frightened, and freak out if I am near. They are my least favorite chickens.

However, seeing them with their crew of little ones in tow is charming and makes me appreciate their mothering abilities. The hens have begun to take the little ones outside to forage. Five of the seven chicks can successfully make it in and out of the coop independently. Two, always the same two, have to be chased, picked up, and set inside the coop door because they struggle to figure out life. Sigh. I put a ramp up to the door, thinking this would help, even though it is not more than a two-inch ledge. These two goobers can't figure out the ramp either. Instead of following their mama and siblings up the ramp, they hide underneath it and cheep loudly in fear. If nothing else, it makes them easy to catch as they cower under the ramp.

Now, the crazy-a$$ white chickens are not only crazy but they are also mean. I'm not kidding, they are intimidating. When I help the peeps into the coop, they come out the little door with ruffled feathers and try to jump on me. I don't know why I am obsessed with birds. They are quite possibly the most unappreciative creatures on the planet. Despite my quick efforts to get their little ones back where they belong, they peck me, jump at my legs, and make scary chicken noises deep in their throats. My response is always the same: "You girls had better get that attitude in check! I am helping!" They don't care. Those bit@hes mean! Seriously. There is nothing worse than a mean, crazy chicken mom, except a mean, crazy Canadian goose dad.

The Canadian geese have hatched seven goslings. The dad is highly protective and makes driving up and down the driveway a terrifying experience. Mostly, I am terrified he will scratch my new car. I am very protective of Sue-B. He extends his little goose neck, runs at the car threateningly, flaps his wings, and chases us sometimes all the way past the neighbor's house. I have to sit at the end of the driveway to wait for the school bus when The Bean comes home. He circles my car, flapping his wings, running at it from different angles, and hissing the entire time. Yesterday, I had had enough of his nonsense. I got out of the car and shooed him away. Surprisingly, it is only cars that make him feel threatened. When he saw me, he turned and walked away. However, it was game on when I drove up the driveway to return to the house. Sigh. He's a lot.

In a few weeks, the nine goats that are scheduled to deliver will begin delivering. Our current babies are about a month old. They have reached the stage where they no longer love to be cuddled and held. They are little, squirmy toddlers trying to establish their independence. My bottle babies still love to cuddle, so I still have that. Now, the babies want to jump on me and use me as a playground if I sit down. When I reach for them, they jump out of the way. I much prefer the cuddly stage.

On a sad note, my incubated goose eggs that suffered the power outage did not make it. I cracked them open. One was like a rotten hard-boiled egg, one had a very underdeveloped embryo, and one was a fully formed chick, I am sure would have survived if we had not lost power. My next incubating adventure will be the cochin eggs and frizzle eggs. Currently, I have fourteen eggs. I am waiting until I have twenty-one eggs. I am greatly looking forward to incubating fancy chicken eggs.

So, dear reader, that is what is happening here on the farm. On this lovely spring day, stay safe, be smart, enjoy the good times and weather the storms, and keep washing your hands.

Tuesday Spotlight: Peppermint

Click To Save 25% On Peppermint Products

If you love peppermint—that fresh, minty scent, the cool, refreshing tingle—this week's special will make you smile. Peppermint soap is an iconic, classic scent that has been used for centuries to combat odor, refresh, cleanse, and even fight bacteria. It soothes sunburned skin, moisturizes, and calms inflammation. From an aromatherapy perspective, peppermint is believed to aid in focus, invigorate, and even relieve headaches. This naturally scented soap and moisturizer are perfect for summer skin care and trips to the beach, and they are wonderful to use when outside around biting insects.

I prefer to use peppermint soap and moisturizer on hot days in the summer. It adds a refreshing element to my daily skincare routine. The cool tingle is refreshing, the scent is uplifting, and it helps repel insects. After a long day on the farm, showering with peppermint soap followed by the peppermint moisturizer is the perfect way to end the day. I like to shower with peppermint soap and sit on the porch for the evening. The scent helps to repel mosquitoes and saves me from being a bug buffet.

Peppermint soap and moisturizer are also great for after-sun care. The cooling tingle makes sunburned skin feel a little less hot and ouchy. However, my favorite use for peppermint soap and moisturizer is on my feet and legs. I believe that peppermint helps fight odor, the cooling tingle makes my tired feet and legs feel invigorated, and moisturizes my callus-prone heels. Peppermint products are great for at-home pedicures.

This week, exclusively on the website, Peppermint soap and moisturizer are 25% off. No promo code is needed to save; the savings will be applied at checkout. I gently encourage you to take advantage of the savings and prepare your skin for the upcoming warm summer months.

On this tumultuous Tuesday, stay safe, be smart, enjoy the savings, and keep washing your hands.

Man Blog of May

Warning, dear reader, my bib overall wearing buddy is off nicotine cold turkey, and it is having, shall we say, adverse effects on his usually delightful personality. Sigh. Don't say you weren't warned. That face says it all.

Apparently, a nasty windstorm with lots of trees to clean up does not exempt me from the monthly man blog, but only delays it. We hosted our annual springtime event this past weekend, and even though I thought I was in the clear of said blog, a request was made in front of upper management for the man blog. I have to admit, guys are dicks. I would have done the same thing to any friend of mine because that's what guys do.

Every single month, I have to fight the urge to write on why I think we are in the stupidest time in the history of man. I can't hold it back anymore. I listen to Spotify for free all month and am subject to all the commercials. This month, I discovered that there is a specific cat food to feed your cat if you are allergic to cats. I don't know how to make it clear. You know that an animal destroys your breathing and makes you a swollen, snotty mess. You pick up said animal and bring it into your home, and then rejoice that there is food available that makes it slightly less miserable to be around the pet that you could have chosen to avoid in the first place. The big pet food companies must have a small army of research and development professionals figuring out what the market needs. Apparently, cat food for people with cats that they are allergic to was a big enough group that needed to be covered.

There are commercials constantly about different prescriptions available that don't even mention what they treat or cure. Rather, you should ask your doctor if it is right for you. Let me schedule an appointment with my doctor to see if I can get some meds that I don't even know what they do, or if I need them in the first place, because they were advertised on the radio. If I were a doctor, I would suggest the generic version of every recommended med because of an ad on the radio. Rather than write the script on anything close to what was suggested, it would be for hippo laxatives. Who would know? Almost every pill out there has a warning about pooping your pants. When NetFlix does the documentary, it can be called The Doctor of 10,000 Sharts.

There are specifically portioned pet food meals to ensure your dog isn't getting overfed and, of course, is eating only organic, certified prime cuts of endangered species. How did we get from the one-hundred-pound bag of Ole Roy for our dogs to four-ounce portions of sea turtle shipped twice daily on dry ice to ensure freshness? I have seen dogs recycle their food and need to have special additives on their kibble to ensure they don't eat their own turds. They don't have sophisticated taste buds. Of course, you have to say their coat is extra shiny whenever you spend more on their meals than your own. You would seem completely brain dead to admit that the spotted owl package is alright in Fidos book, but every once in a while he like the taste of his own turds and three week old dead groundhog.

There are entire industries dedicated to making our yards greener and growing faster, just so we have to mow more grass. Lawns are the most irrigated crop in the USA. Everyone who is fussing about water shortages, emissions from equipment, and vehicles waters their lawn and has to mow it more often. I am ready for the trend to turn our yards into maintenance-free yards and can't wait to get on board with that.

We can order wings at a restaurant called "The Colon Collapser," and then need to sign a waiver for our own stupidity. Wings by themselves are proof that higher-level thinking has diminished. The most annoying part of the chicken is the wing. The part that was a nickel for five pounds, a generation ago, is now flavored and sold in restaurants at "market price". There is nothing better about the wing part of the chicken compared to the rest of the bird. I would rather avoid the wing than have a dozen on my plate. No worries because every restaurant that switched from a dozen down to ten kept the prices the same and then made them fluctuate in their favor, like dealing in lobster. If wings were the best part of poultry, where are all of the turkey wings? There are turkey breasts all over the grocery store. They are in the frozen food section, there is turkey lunch meat, and turkey jerky. Why are there no turkey wings? If wings are indeed superior, then larger wings would be even better. The ostrich and rhea market tanked years ago but was unable to make a comeback when wing prices went through the roof. What would be better than a three-foot wing to devour with your family if wings were that great? We have been played and now pay a premium for the only part of a chicken worse than its feet from which to make a meal.

We have been making fewer and fewer consequences for being stupid for generations. We have an old fan in our house for decoration. It has about a ten-inch span across the blades and just enough of a cover over the blades that you could not stick your elbow entirely into the fan's path. There is enough space in the guard to get all four fingers into contact with the spinning blades. I always think that fans are a prime example of what has happened with being safer and more idiot-proof. It has stopped people who don't think about their actions from having consequences. Want to poke a spinning blade? Go for it, and then you will know for the next time. It allows you to learn not to be stupid and is a great way to let the rest of the world know. If you are a few fingertips short, everyone knows why and keeps an eye out.

Until next month, remember that idiotproofing does nothing but empower the idiot. Stay safe, and wash on.