The Time Is Up

My inspiration image for our barn

The whole time we were in Ohio, I only wanted to be home. I missed my dog, my goats, my flighty chickens, my farm, and my routine. Upon returning home, I have done absolutely nothing but go from one obligation to the next. The Bean's schedule takes up my days, giving me a few hours of uninterrupted time at home, but not enough to do anything significant. As I sat and organized my calendar for the month of September, I realized that constantly being on the go is my new norm. We are only a week into the new school year, and I already long for summer and its relaxed pace.

Obligations do not end with running my child from one appointment to the next. We also have farm obligations to address. The Bibbed Wonder informed me that we have a hole in our barn roof. As I sit writing to you, we await the arrival of a contractor who will patch the hole and give us an estimate on a new roof. We are exploring options for a forever roof of metal or metal shingles. We have taken the attitude that while we are at it, we might as well explore installing metal siding on the barn. My goal is to make the farm as low maintenance as possible. With all our remodeling projects, we have taken the do it once, do it well, do it right approach. The barn project will be no different.

I'm unsure why my dad never had the barn wrapped in metal siding. Having the barn sided will eliminate the need to paint it, and it is time to paint it. I have known for years that siding the barn with metal siding is what my bib overall-wearing buddy wants to do. He has put off reroofing and siding the barn for as long as possible. Now, we have decisions to make and must accept that it is time for change. I struggle with changing things on the farm. I know it seems silly and makes no sense whatsoever, but a large part of me doesn't want anything to change because it reminds me of my dad. My dad has been gone for eighteen years. Some days feel like he just left, and others feel like a lifetime. Grief is funny that way.

I know that making changes makes him no more or less gone. He would want me to preserve the farm, make improvements, and do what I feel is best. However, it feels like one more small part of his existence is being erased. I struggle with this for many reasons. My dad has no grave or memorial site to visit. Not that a grave makes one feel any closer to one's lost loved ones, but it's a physical symbol that the person who was so loved existed. There is comfort in knowing that the person you love is "asleep" in a specific place, and if you need to feel closer to him, all you have to do is visit. I know this is a falsehood, an illusion. However, it's a comfort I will never know. It was never an option or a consideration.

Everything my dad worked a lifetime building has been undone. I don't want to be a part of that undoing. I have strong resentment for those who destroyed his legacy. I am working on this, but it's there, and it's real. I am grappling with feeling like I am part of that undoing. Today, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place that many speak of. Do I preserve what was done for posterity or make changes to improve the structure and lower the maintenance? I know, it seems silly. I also know the answer. It's just that the answer isn't sitting well with me.

It has been over a decade, and I have struggled with making changes, improvements, and decisions about making changes. Unfortunately, the time is up, and now I have to decide. Eric has been gentle with me about this topic. He knows I struggle and why I struggle. He knows this is hard for me. However, the time for gentleness and kid gloves is over. It has taken me years to settle on a direction and vision for the farm. Do I maintain the same color scheme and set-up and keep what no longer works or serves us? Do I take it in a different direction? Do I make it something that is more me and less my dad? Ultimately, I asked myself and Eric: What would my dad do?

The answer is that my dad would make the changes and improvements. He would not want me to maintain something that no longer works or serves us. He would like to see innovation, the land working to provide for his family, and the structures secured for another two hundred years. I think he would approve of going the route of less maintenance, easier upkeep, and serviceability. I think if he were here, he would make the same choices. I hope so.

So, I have decided to think long-term. I want to do a forever roof on all the buildings. I want metal siding installed on the barn so that it is preserved, more secure, better insulated for my herd, and easier to maintain. I have decided to change the color scheme of the farm. These changes will happen in waves. The first thing that will be done is the barn. I have decided on a brown metal roof, trusting that the contractor will give me sound advice on what type of metal roofing to use. There are now many options available besides metal sheeting. We had coated metal shingles installed on the roof of our house near Punxsutawney, and they were beautiful. Eric doesn't think the barn structure can handle the weight of those shingles.

I have decided upon red siding with black trim for the barn-not the bright red siding but the more rust-colored, subdued red that is now made. I think this will look lovely with the stone. Eric also plans to make some changes inside the barn's structure to make it more conducive to today's farming needs. The grainery, which is not original to the barn, will be opened up. It won't be removed entirely but will be open to handle equipment. We are also exploring the options of updating and utilizing the milking parlor. Electricity and plumbing need to be updated as well. This project will take time, consideration, and a lot of scrutiny over maintaining the original details of the barn. I don't want to lose the historical integrity.

The rest of the farm will slowly transition into black. I envision a black house with a brown roof and stone details—the same with the spring house, which is the next project. The springhouse foundation has cracked and needs to be completely overhauled. We plan to hire someone familiar with historical buildings to oversee the project. I want to maintain the original troughs, the niche that still holds the aluminum cup my dad and uncles used when they were boys, and the spring. However, I envision turning the top of the springhouse into a guest house or in-law's house. When we remodel the house, we can live in the springhouse so we don't have to live in the work area. I've lived through one too many major remodels to do it again.

Eventually, the garage, chicken coop, and outhouse will transition to black with a brown roof and stone details. This project will take years to complete—a marathon rather than a sprint. If I am being transparent, it will take me years to adjust to the idea of making all these changes. I need to do this in phases over time for my emotional well-being. My goal is to pass on something that is classic 1800s with modern updates. I intend to ask for The Bean's input for the house changes because, eventually, it will be hers. Eric says she will gut it and turn it into her vision, but I don't think that is the case. I believe she will honor my dad and me while blending in her ideas. At least, this is my hope. I think it was probably my dad's hope as well.

It has taken me a long time to accept that changes must be made for the overall well-being and preservation of the farm. I have pushed projects down the road for sentimental reasons. The time is up, and now I must face the fact that I have to undo some of what my dad did. It's hard. For a less sentimental person, it is a no-brainer. For someone who is an overthinker and sentimental, it is painful. As I sit in my dad's worn leather recliner, looking out at the barn from my dad's old office, I see the work that needs to be done. I also see my vision of how it could be. I hope and pray I am making the right decision for the farm, my dad, and his legacy. As foolish as it sounds, I look for signs from him that I am on the right path. I hope he is smiling down on me from wherever he is. I also hope he knows I do everything I do to honor him.

On this steamy late summer day, stay safe, be smart, honor those who came before you, try to balance the past with the future, try to find peace in your decisions, and keep washing your hands.

Another Year Over

We love the Bumgardner family.

Well, dear reader, it is hard to believe, but another year of The Shaker Woods Festival is over. It was an odd year in the woods. Despite the lower attendance than in years past, which led to lower sales, it was still a wonderful experience. We made new friends and reconnected with old friends. We welcomed new and talented artists into our Shaker neighborhood and got to catch up with our much-loved, established neighbors. I finished the year feeling inspired, motivated, and looking forward to next year. Overall, it was a good year.

I am fortunate that wherever we go, we always seem to create a deep connection with a few special people. The Shaker Woods Festival is no different. We have several special individuals and families that we look forward to seeing and visiting with during our stay. These people have become fast friends, and I feel blessed to have them in my circle. Last year, I met a wonderful family at our hotel in Columbiana. The Bumgardners are the sweetest family who attend The Shaker Woods Festival yearly. They stopped by our booth during the festival, chatted a bit, bought some soap, and then moved on to enjoy the rest of the festival. However, that night, as I sat reading a magazine while The Bean enjoyed the hotel pool, I initiated a friendly conversation with a lovely woman who looked familiar. I could not place her immediately. It finally dawned on me that she had been in my booth earlier in the day. We chatted briefly, and then the rest of her family joined her at the pool.

I was introduced to the rest of the family, and Michelle and I immediately hit it off. We sat and talked about everything under the sun while The Bean and her son, Tee, played ball in the pool. Michelle and her lovely family have been our avid supporters ever since, and I could not be more grateful. The Bumgardners arrived wearing matching t-shirts and big, welcoming smiles this year. I looked forward to their arrival and stayed at my booth all day because I was afraid I would miss them if I left. Staying at one's booth all day at an event like Shaker Woods is next to impossible. Between shopping the talented artist's booths and wanting to chat with friends, it takes self-discipline not to roam about. The Bean and Michelle's daughters became fast friends. They stood, talked, laughed, and exchanged SnapChat information so they could keep in touch. Seeing the Bumgardner's was the highlight of my day.

This year, our neighborhood was filled with new faces and fresh talent. Miss April was the talented artist in the booth across from us. She is not a crafter but a very talented fine artist. I enjoyed having her as our neighbor and hope she becomes a permanent fixture in our neighborhood. We also met Brian, aka Larry, the pumpkin guy. Brian kept us in stitches with his antics and stories. The Bean, in particular, enjoyed Brian's wit and humor. She ended the show by calling him Uncle Bri-Bri with a giggle each and every time. The Bean also formed a fast and strong bond with Tiffany, the face-painting lady. She and The Bean exchanged information and plan to keep in touch. The Bean is already planning to send Tiffany pictures from the upcoming homecoming dance. My kid and husband make friends wherever they go.

The annual picture of the monkeys in our neighborhood. From left to right: The Bibbed Wonder, Kirby, and The Alabama Slammer, Keith.

Of course, we always enjoy seeing our neighbors in the woods. Kirby, Beryl, Jen, Erica, Sarah, Natalie, and Keith are lovely. Fred and Karen are our new next-door neighbors. We were amazed to find out that Shaker Woods was their first event. We laughed and told them we gave them all the credit in the world for starting big. We were sad to find out that Dennis, the broom guy, decided to no longer participate in The Shake Woods Festival. He sold his building and moved on to bigger shows. Dennis will be missed, but Karen and Fred are delightful neighbors. We discovered five buildings will be for sale at the end of our row because those vendors have decided to retire. Next year will be filled with new faces and new talent. We also learned that Lana and Rob, the event planners and owners, decided to add twenty more buildings to the woods. Twenty additional buildings is a considerable expansion. I guess Heraclitus was correct; "Nothing is constant but change."

Speaking of change, I had an intense bout of inspiration while I was in the woods. I'm unsure if it's inspiration or a manic episode, but my little brain was on fire with the ideas for next year. Much to The Bibbed Wonder's chagrin, I have plans to improve our building, add products, revise the space, and utilize the retail opportunity. He listens to me, nods and smiles, and hopes I forget everything. Unbeknownst to him, I broke out a new notebook and jotted down all my ideas and the prices of the materials. I have plans to work on new shelves and display items over the winter. My list is three pages long and very detailed. He is such a fortunate man...insert a wink. I am certain that I will have to lobby aggressively for the changes I want to implement. He knows he is no match for me, but it is a dance we must do before he concedes. Sigh. He's exhausting.

That, dear reader, is the summary of our Shaker Woods event. We appreciate everyone who came out to support us. We welcome our new friends and are grateful for our old ones.

I look forward to another great year in the woods and can't wait to implement all my ideas. I wish The Bibbed Wonder were as excited as I am...sigh. We have five more weeks of The Ligonier Country Market to look forward to, and our farmer's market season is over. We also have our Fall at the Farm event on October 19th, hopefully, the Ligonier Country Market Christmas Show, and our day at Lone Oak Farms on December 7th. That will end our live shows for 2024.

On this summer day, stay safe, be smart, enjoy good people, appreciate the experience, and keep washing your hands.

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