It is the last Foodie Friday before the New Year, and I thought I would take this opportunity to share my recipe for a prosperous New Year with you. Some ideas I will share are lessons I have learned, and some are ideas or concepts I need to work on. However, they are all things I believe will help me grow, improve, and become just a smidge happier. Maybe, just maybe, you will find something on this list that inspires you as well.
1) Get more comfortable in your skin. Spend some time with yourself and your thoughts, feel the feelings, don't stuff them down, and pay attention to the running narrative in your head. Once you have spent a fair amount of time with yourself, have the strength and the insight to assess yourself. Ask yourself this: If I were to meet this person and have a conversation with them, would this person be someone I would want to hang out with? If someone I care about spends much time with this person, would I encourage the relationship or feel this person is a bad influence on my friend? Be honest with yourself about yourself. If you answer those questions negatively, be brave enough to confront your behavior and do something about it. Maybe doing something about it looks like going to therapy or reading a reputable self-help book. Perhaps it looks like finding a support system in a spiritual leader, a support group, or a mentor. If definitely means making an effort to be more aware of your thoughts and how you talk to yourself. When you catch yourself thinking unkind thoughts about yourself, flip the script and rebuff that negativity with two positives. Trust me, this doesn't happen overnight, and it takes effort. However, once you become comfortable addressing your negative thoughts, it will become second nature to be positive, and eventually, it will become who you are.
2) Prioritize your well-being. Many of us, especially women, think it is selfish to prioritize our well-being. Many of us are intrinsic caregivers. Before we care for ourselves, we care for our spouse, children, extended family, friends, job/business, home, and pets. I know I will drop everything to help someone I care about in need. However, when it comes to myself, I convince myself it is unnecessary, too expensive, not enough time, or lazy and unmotivated. This is something I continue to struggle with daily. It's okay to take the time to go for a walk alone or exercise before starting your day. It's okay to go to bed early and prioritize getting enough rest. It's more than okay to do something you love, sit quietly with yourself, read a book, or do an activity that only you enjoy and is not work-related. Practicing self-care is acceptable, such as getting a pedicure, facial, or massage. Go ahead and get that new hairstyle or color, and buy an outfit that makes you feel confident. Once in a while, it's okay to splurge on yourself. I don't advise going into debt for thousands of dollars in spa treatments, but a once-in-a-while treat is good for you. Everyone deserves a little pampering.
3) Create your version of a joyful life. I firmly believe everyone deserves to be happy, feel inspired, find something they are passionate about, and be at peace and content. The key to this is to stop comparing yourself to others. Not everyone fits into the same mold, has the same idea of joy, or finds inspiration in the same things, so don't judge. As one very wise almost sixteen-year-old says, "You do you, Boo." Funny? Yes. However, there is a lot of wisdom in those words. Don't be afraid to do you whatever that looks like. For me, it is raising goats, making soap, writing, living on a farm with my family, and putting my energy into activities that inspire me and make me feel fulfilled, like reading, living a rural life, creating products that help people, are helpful, and good for them. I learn something new every day. If you feel stagnant, get out of your comfort zone. Don't be afraid to pursue an interest, take a class, research, jump in and try, and keep learning. Maybe you won't be good at everything you try. For me, it is knitting and crocheting. I love the fiber and the beautiful creations others so easily create, but I do not have the skills, patience, or coordination to sit down and make something with a needle or a hook. I simply admire people who can. However, this blind squirrel found a nut in creating soaps and products made from milk. It all works out in the end. Embrace your strengths.
4) Set boundaries. I struggle with setting boundaries, saying no, and not putting up with other people's nonsense. I have a respect for manners, kindness, and decorum. I never want to be rude, unkind, or low-brow. When I find myself in a situation where someone is all those things, I will remain quiet but secretly seethe over the insult. I will walk away, make an excuse, or rationalize bad behavior. In my mind, being assertive equivocates being a b!@#$. I believe this is true for many of us, especially women. Where men are respected for setting boundaries, saying no, speaking their minds, or being confrontational, women are viewed as being a bitch, moody, emotional, difficult, or the best, hormonal. I consider myself a strong person. However, there have been times when I have been described as opinionated, bossy, stubborn, or outspoken (these comments were all made by men), but none were meant as compliments. Although I have gotten better at saying no, I need to do significant work on setting boundaries, asserting my ideas, and confidently standing up for myself when someone tries to make me feel small.
5) Be present in the moment and experience life to its fullest. My dad did an amazing job at living his best life. The man was a force of nature. He built a business from the ground up, traveled, and played as hard as he worked, and he worked HARD. I don't have this balance, but I want to work on that this year. I am in my early fifties; my dad passed away at fifty-six. If I follow my dad's life trajectory, I only have a few years left. There are so many things I want to see, accomplish, and do with my family. I have a bucket list of places I want to travel to on my computer. There are so many ideas I want to see become reality before my time here is done. Most importantly, I want to make memories and set a good example for my daughter. My most wonderful adventure has been becoming a wife and mother. I know this seems small and insignificant for many, but if I'm being transparent, I never thought either would happen to me. I believed I did not deserve happiness or a healthy, happy relationship because of my past choices. However, the Universe had a different plan for me and I am so grateful and appreciative of that plan. Being a mom is, hands down, the most enjoyable aspect of my life. I am incredibly blessed and fortunate to be chosen as The Bean's mom. I want for nothing in this world since I have been given this miracle as a gift. With my time left on this earth, I want to spend it making memories with the people I love.
So, my dear reader, this is my advice and plan for 2025. I told you yesterday that I feel optimistic about the upcoming year. I believe this will be a year of growth, prosperity, adventure, and positivity. I intend to make the most of it, and I hope you do too. Life is far too short to slug it out in the muck of negativity. Feeling unhappy, overwhelmed, or sometimes underwhelmed, depressed, inadequate, and inferior is not the reason we are here. We are here to make a difference, be a light, do the best we can, do good where and when we can, improve the situation for others when we can, and create joy. We are all meant to be happy, content, fulfilled, inspired, and awe-filled at this wonderous life and world we have been blessed with—my unsolicited advice: make the best of it while you can. That's my goal for 2025.
On this last Friday of 2024, stay safe, be smart, make the most of your life, be inspired and optimistic for the New Year, and keep washing your hands.
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