Sweet Sixteen

Well, dear reader, we have hit yet another milestone here at the farm. My baby, my favorite human bean, turned sixteen yesterday. The Bean turning sixteen is bittersweet. There are times I long for her to be my little love nugget so badly that my teeth hurt. Yes, it's real. I have a terrible habit of clenching my teeth when under stress, duress, or extreme emotion. I unconsciously clench my teeth so tightly that my jaw and teeth ache. It's probably not the healthiest coping mechanism, but it's what I do. My jaw has been aching for almost two weeks. Sigh.

When she was a baby, I would look at her adorable little wardrobe and think, "Oh, my! She's never going to be big enough to wear that!" Inevitably, she would grow into the next size. When it was time to go to preschool, I had difficulty letting her go. Poor Mrs. Presloid, Jordan's preschool teacher at SSCD! She often had to escort me out of the room while I was on the verge of tears. She was as kind and gentle with me as she was my child. Often, I would spend Tuesday and Thursday mornings at a small coffee shop waiting anxiously for the four hours to pass while she was in preschool. I was not a mother who looked at preschool as a much-needed break from my child. I was anxiety-ridden and heartbroken she was away from me. Despite my being heartbroken as she was growing up, The Bean thrived in social settings. She loved her school, her friends, and her teachers.

As we have celebrated birthdays and milestones, I have had the gift of watching her grow into an exceptional little individual with strong convictions, a good head on her shoulders, a kind heart, and a contagious joy for life. She loves big, knows her worth, is strong and brave, and understands the value of hard work. I can say with sincerity that she makes me proud every single day. It is not that life is perfect and without challenges. Life can be tough, especially when you are a young adult. However, she faces challenges and hardships with a spirit that can overcome anything that gets in her way. She learns from her mistakes, grows, and rarely repeats a bad decision. What more could a parent ask for in a child?

Yesterday, she met yet another milestone. The day came, and despite my denial that my baby would never be as old as sixteen, it was far, far away; turn sixteen she did. We celebrated with our usual birthday tradition of one's favorite meal, cake, and gifts with a small crowd of those she holds most dear. She has chosen to celebrate her birthday at the new Texas Roadhouse this weekend. I convinced her to wait until the weather was nice before holding her sweet sixteen party. She has to decide whether to hold it here, at the farm, or rent a small venue. Right now, she is leaning towards the farm. However, like most teens, her mind changes with the direction of the wind. We host a big birthday bash every five years. Her last big birthday party was when she turned ten. I do not believe in taxing her friends and their families with gift commitments every year. Even if I ask for no gifts, generous friends always shower her with gifts.

She will also take her driver's permit test this weekend. Gasp! The Bibbed Wonder has requested the privilege of taking her for her test. I will graciously stay home and let them do their father/daughter bonding. He generously gives me the freedom to participate in all her activities. I have been a classroom mom throughout her elementary years, chaperoned field trips, went on vacations, and done all the mother/daughter excursions like spa days, shopping trips, and any fun activities one can think of doing with one's child. At the same time, he took a backseat to allow me to have a one-time experience. He's a good man, a fantastic husband, and an exceptional dad. He deserves to enjoy this milestone with her.

So, we begin 2025 with a sixteen-year-old student driver and an incredible young woman. It blows my mind that she will graduate from high school in two years, attend a school of her choosing, and build a life outside this farm and her adoring parents. I am choosing to believe that it is far, far away, and my baby will never be so old that she will leave. Of course, I know this is a lie, but I tell myself to cope. If I am being transparent, I am thrilled and excited to see where her path will take her. She will continue to make me proud, just as she has since taking her first breath while in my arms sixteen years ago. My jaw will probably develop arthritis from all the teeth clenching, but I will smile through the pain and celebrate each and every milestone I have been gifted to be a part of. Being her mother has been my greatest gift, my most exciting adventure, and more than I could have ever hoped for.

On this cold and blustery Wednesday, stay safe, be smart, tell yourself the lies you need to hear to keep your heart from breaking, embrace the gift of loving others, smile through the tears, and keep washing your hands.